It’s humbling to think that God could use one ounce of my loud and boisterous self. I can be opinionated and matter of fact and just a plain old sinner.
As I stand in the Clothes Closet each time we are open and people from many walks of life come in I begin to pray, “Shut my mouth, Lord. Make me nothing of myself and all about serving these that you’ve brought my way for just a second of this life.” No one deserves the honor of caring for others, really.
They are lives that God allowed to live on this earth for a purpose. Some are so broken. Some are, honestly, selfish and want to take whatever they can because there’s a level of entitlement. (Don’t we all feel that way sometimes? Or maybe in seasons of our lives? Or if we don’t really KNOW God and fully believe that HE will provide for all of our need according to His riches in glory?Philippians 4:19) Some are hurting and just want something to fill the empty hole inside.
I don’t know if you have a trigger for when God speaks to you, but mine is that my heart begins to beat a little harder. I know I have prayed for Philippians 1:9 that my “love may abound more and more with knowledge and discernment” and some days He gives it greater than I can handle. My heart nearly beats out of my chest when He’s speaking “This is my way… walk in it.”
Yesterday two women walked into the CC and immediately my heart REALLY began to beat. This was unusual because it was almost the end of the day and many people had been through those doors. My heart had quickened a few times, but not like this.
The story began to unfold that one was a caseworker who worked with women who had been victims of human trafficking. The other was a victim who had been sold my her very own husband and he was now in jail. The look of sadness, defeat and pain was like nothing I’ve seen on this precious life that’s just a few years younger than me. She just seemed numb, and maybe she had drugged herself or self medicated just to escape the pain. I could not say that I blamed her.
When God allows you to serve someone who has been literally treated like a useless piece of trash that’s up for sale for someone else’s profit where do you begin? My heart was beating so loudly that I knew this was a divine appointment and we had to try.
The contrast between the sinfulness of man and the mercy and grace of God has never been more obvious to me than it is now. His pursuit of us is relentless and His provision for us, astounding considering how far we stray from Him in our sinfulness. He never stops bringing others into our lives who will pray, serve, love and support like we never thought possible, and it’s up to us to simply turn to Him and receive.
I’d like to say that a miracle happened for this girl while we worked to help meet some of her needs. The facts are we gave her some clothing (since she was wearing all that she had) and we spoke with her about turning to God and receiving life renewed from Him through Christ. She said that she knew about God and that she knew He loved her.
Every life is a process of TRULY knowing and TRULY believing and TRULY receiving. I pray she’s beginning that process of understanding her worth in Christ and His sacrifice for her.
The more you serve Him and the more you lose yourself in His purpose for you the walk that you have with Him becomes deeper, different and more tender. People become more dear to you because you see HIs love for each one and His longing for them to turn to Him, and you want to be a part of that turning. This journey is changing me, and my life will never be the same.