I’m a Complete and Utter Mess

You know, more and more I am all about just telling it like it is. Life is becoming something so different for me lately that I really don’t recognize myself anymore. And can I just say, “YAYYYYY GOD!”?

For a while I’ve wanted an EXTREME HOME Makeover with the “home” being me! You know, an Out of the Box life that does not look remotely like my old self? Something new and exciting. Something that isn’t complacent or satisfied with being on the sidelines.

So one night it happened. I was cleaning out some of my daughter’s clothes and I was kind of praying about it. “God, not Goodwill. I like them, but I want to really make a difference in someone’s life with these clothes. What do I do? Who could I help?” It was really a simple kind of prayer. Nothing real earth shattering. Just me and God kind of talking.  I love that.

I went to bed that night and was getting all settled for a good night’s sleep. I read my Bible and then got all cozy when it happened. It was the very night when God stood on my head. Yes. ON my head. Well, literally on the left side of my face. It was like, “You’ve asked me who you can help so now you are going to listen!”  And suddenly I heard it loud and clear… local missions, meeting the needs of clothing and food and the life giving gospel for others in my community, began to just flood my heart and mind.

Ok, hear me here. I don’t mean like a little still small voice. This was like drinking from a fire hydrant. When I say flood I mean a dam bursting, water gushing, overflowing with great destructive force, ruin your life, completely change who you are and what you look like in the mirror and in your heart FLOOD!

It has ruined me.

I am really not sure why I have never taken God at His Word before now. I guess in my little Christian life I have claimed the scripture that helped me and fit my little situations. You know? “I know the plans I have for you…” Jeremiah 29:11  and “Be still and know that I am God.” Psalm 46:10 because I NEEDED (and still need) those promises to help me make it through the day.

But what about “…look after orphans and widows in their time of distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.” James 1:27b?

Or “What good is it, my brothers, if a man claims to have faith  but has no deeds? Can such faith save him? Suppose a brother or sister with without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to him, ‘Go, I wish you well; keep warm and well fed,’ but does nothing about his physical needs, what good is it?” James 2:14-16?

Why haven’t I taken God at His Word?

Perhaps I wasn’t in a place where I could receive it. Or maybe I was so dang hard headed and hearted that I WOULD not receive it. Either way… it’s not an option anymore.

Sooo… there’s tons more to this story, but today my friends and I sang at a Walk-a-thon to benefit a local unwed mother’s home.


Sorry my picture is a little small and blurry, but you get the idea.

I love EVERY single girl in this picture and every second of serving with them. They love Jesus and they love others and they want to see His Name honored and so do I.

I don’t have enough time to tell you how messed up I am. It’s all I think about and all I want to do. I want to meet needs and listen to stories and encourage and tell others that Christ died for them and that He has a plan for their lives… after I help them find clothing.

My husband and friends are sick of me. THEY didn’t sign up for this, but God is working in all of us and He’s up to something major! It didn’t just start with me…oh no! THEY love Jesus and THEY want to do what He calls them to, too. So we are all on this ride together! They are just sick of me talking about it, but that’s too bad! I’ll just tell God about them!


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