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Friday, February 4, 2011

And WHY Did I Say That?

** EDITED TO SAY THAT I HAVE NO IDEA WHY!!?! THE FONTS CHANGE FROM GINORMOUS TO MICROSCOPIC FROM POST TO POST! SORRY!

One thing that I am NOT loving about myself lately is how insecure I can be. I tell ya! I walk away from situations or conversations wondering if I did or said the right thing, if I hurt someone’s feelings or if I said the WRONG thing! I know that I am never going to be perfect and I know that God’s grace is sufficient for me… so why do I struggle with this so?? I have to admit that I go through times that are less insecure than others so this isn’t a constant battle, but it does come around every so often and I HATE IT!

I think that when you say that you are willing to step out and lead or take on a role that maybe you’ve never taken on before it’s natural to feel insecure and fear that perhaps you won’t do things the way others might expect. I teach pre-school music for the first time ever this year and while I have taught before, I’ve never taught music OR preschoolers so I am feeling my way through in dealing with parents, teachers and a new boss. It can all be a little intimidating and I sometimes wonder if I am doing it right! The kids are so young and when I taught before I taught  middle and high school so it’s a whole different ball game with little emotions and little needs vs. kids that are bigger than me and parents that are not expecting you to take care of their “baby”… if you get my drift!

I am also leading a women’s Bible study and I walk away from there every night thinking that I said too much or not enough or I took too much time on that one point or not enough on that one… UGH! It’s enough to drive you nuts! I take great comfort in the fact that BETH MOORE admitted the same feelings in the last video that we watched. If SHE’S insecure… I am DOOMED! 

Perhaps it’s just human nature to feel this way, bus I am usually pretty comfortable in my skin. (I wish there were less skin and that it were less wrinkled, but none the less… ) I know that eventually I will come out of it, but in the mean time… well, maybe I shouldn’t have burdened you with my issues!
SEE?!?! Oh, I need to lie down.

3 comments:

Patty Sumner said...

Melissa, I think as women, Satan always hits us the issue of insecurity. If I am not mistaken, Beth Moore has a new book on that very topic. Satan would love nothing better than to stop you from teaching that Bible study or to stop you from teaching those young children. Let the Lord lead you and do not let Satan destroy the good work God has for you to do. Blessings and I think you are doing just fine.....just keep on doing it!

jillyヅ said...

Hi, I'm Jilly and found you from Gardners Cottage.

I was about to tell you about the enemy and noticed the comment from Patty. She is right on!!! He knows how to "get to ya" and making you feel insecure is his way of stopping you, or making others thinks your not doing "it" right. I also agree with Patty that you need to let God lead you and try, and I mean try(its hard) not to let the enemy get to you.

blessings,
jilly

paige said...

Ryan loves your music class!!!!! Just thought I'd send that little bit of encouragement!!!