There was a time when I questioned God. How would it happen? When, Lord, when? I was so anxious. My mind could not leave the fact that there was a need and on my own I could not meet it.
In my mind the needs were in lots of areas. All areas sometimes. How would the bills get paid? What if something broke? Something big like a car or an appliance that we depend on everyday. How would our child learn? Can she play a sport or do something extra curricular? What if sickness came and work had to be neglected? How would ministry happen in my everyday life? The thought of “what if” would choke me and the worry would hang in my bones.
It hasn’t been until the year of God opening my eyes that this worry has left me. This year. The one where He said, “There will be a Clothing Ministry,” and then “Go to Africa,”and again,“Your husband will go on a short term trip to serve in your own country.”
When you step past the problems that you are convinced that you have… The ones that could be, might but, probably will be.. you begin to see that Our Lord is so much greater than these. He begins to show you that your problems are so small, tiny even, and that He wants so much more for you than the energy-draining might be’s. He wants your eyes to see and your brain to know and your heart to feel so much more than this. This short-sighted and self-centered life..
So you do it. You step past the problems for just a minute and the wonder begins. He begins to show you His providence and His compassion for the world. Let that sink in. THE WORLD. Nations of people and not just one measly little household with 2 cars, 2 adults, a cat and one kid. He shows you that if you will just pay one second of attention and get past your little self He will open your eyes and show you how He is providing each and every day for more needs than our finite minds can begin to comprehend. Every. Single. Day.
He begins to show you sunrises and sunsets and that His timing in all things are perfect. He shows you trees that grow and flowers that are sustained and life that exists in animals on every single continent.
In middle class America we don’t get it. I don’t get it. We wake up in air conditioned houses with clean clothes in drawers that refuse to shut because they are so full. We go to an indoor plumbing facility (also in our air conditioned houses) where we are able to take care of ourselves. We have running water,soap, toilet paper and we have food. We have 2 cars and we complain about the cost of fuel.
We are stuck here worried about so many things that really do not matter. We are stuck in our own little comfortable worlds and we are missing it ALL. We are stuck by our own sticking.
“The nations have sunk in the pit that they made; in the net that they hid, their own foot has been caught.” Psalm 9:15
We have more resources and live in a free nation that has more access to the gospel than most nations in the ENTIRE world.
I admit. I did not get it, and even now have only a glimmer of an idea of how great our Almighty God truly is. I have been caught in my own trap, and now I feel that this is only the beginning of being set free. I continue to live in the same home with the same concerns, but somehow they don’t steal the show anymore. I still need to be wise about how I use my time and my resources, but honestly… it’s just not the same.
He provides. Everything happens at His command.
He says in Isaiah 50:2 “Is My hand shortened that it can not redeem? Or have I no power to deliver? Behold, by my rebuke I dry up the sea, I make the rivers a desert, their fish stink for lack of water and die of thirst.”
I think I have just begun to take Him at His word.