Say It Isn't SO! I'm the BIG 4-0!?!

This is it! Today's the day! I am 40 years old. I remember being 20 and thinking that those 40 year olds were OLD! Well, 20 years later here I am and I don't think I'm old at all! As a matter of fact I still think I'm 20!

My mom had me when she was 24 so when she reached 44 I was 24! I had graduated from college and everything by her early 40's and here I am with an 8 year old. THAT is weird.

I know (she has told me over and over again) that I was breech and back in the day they turned the babies and had very few c-sections. Mom was in tremendous pain after my delivery and swore that they would NEVER have another kid.

That's mom! And that's my girl... man she looks young! They both do!

To mom's surprise they did have another kid... 14 months later my brother came along! He and I are like night and day, but he's precious and God used his life in many ways to make me who I am today. 

I have to admit that being 40 makes me THINK, but it doesn't make me sad. I like...

... that I can make better choices than I did at 20...

.... that my walk with the Lord is deeper and more real than it has ever been to me.

.. that my confidence is strong and I find more of my identity in Christ than in other people or things.

... that I can be more disciplined about things ...

... that I'm secure in myself and I know who I am...

.. that I am more of a risk taker. Now, if you knew me before I was married you might say that might not be true, but the risks that I am more eager or willing to take now have more purpose. I'm more committed to ministry and eager to share Christ with those that I may have shied away from before.

... that I want to love with full abandon. I realize now, more than ever, the value of relationships and that people are more important than things.

I guess being 40 has it's drawbacks too...

... new contacts and glasses because my eyes are worse...

... indigestion...

... it's harder to lose weight...

... I'm not as flexible as I use to be...

SO WHAT?? If those are enough reasons for 40 to ruin my life then I'm no where near where I think I am!!!

I am very thankful for the people that God has brought into my life to help mold and make me into who He has for me to be.

My husband. Oh. My. WORD! When we met we were t-totally the exact opposites. I can not believe that he is the one that God had for me. But somehow it works. He loves Jesus more than any man that I've known and he loves me and our girl with an amazing love that makes my heart smile. He challenges me to be a better person and to love Jesus and His Word more everyday.

Then there are many friends that the Lord has used over the years to challenge me to follow harder after Him than anything else... and were I to start naming them this entry would go on for days!

I guess the most amazing way that I have seen God work over the last 20 or so years is through His plan for me. When I went to college and KNEW that I wanted to be a special ed. teacher... all the while my parents questioning my decision, reminding me that I'd get burned out, make little money and be frustrated... somehow God just kept opening the doors. All that my parents warned me about DID happen! I DID get burned out. I DID make very little money, and I DID get frustrated.

However, once I had my child and we discovered that she had some delays it all became very clear. God's plan unfolded before me and I was able to look back and see that all that I had been through was for her.

His ways are higher than our ways. His thoughts are not ours. At 40 I am able to look back and see that His plans do not always make sense to me, but there IS purpose in everything that He brings us through.

Well, here's the plan! Keep walking with Jesus until He takes me home. The adventure is too amazing to give up now! I've walked with Him, seriously, for 20 years and I am eager to go further and deeper and higher with Him than I've ever been. The next 40 years are to come... and the journey's just begun!