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Friday, March 6, 2009

Disability? Delay? WHAT IS IT?

A few weeks ago I posted about our daughter having an MRI and that the results were good… they saw no abnormalities

Today we actually met with the neurologist and wanted to know where we go from here. While they didn’t see any flat spots on her brain (because our brains are bumpy) and they didn’t see any loss of cell migration or abnormal development we do know that we still have a kid who deals with anxiety (at 7 years old!) and she exhibits behaviors that are different from the average kiddo.

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I will explain a little about what I mean. When she is at school, for example, she will hold onto the sides of her chair and do this rocking motion that seems to take her into another world. She gets this look on her face like she has stepped out of her body and she’s in la la land. She can’t seem to come out of it until she is redirected or something catches her attention that interests her  more than rocking. It almost seems like an autistic kid that self stimulates by watching their hands or spinning, BUT she does not do it at home…. unless she’s playing on the computer. Interesting, huh?

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We think that she does this to help herself deal with the stimulation around her. The sound of kids shuffling around and talking, a teacher’s instructions, papers, expectations to do work, etc. are all coming at her at once and we know that she is ultra sensitive (though it’s getting better) to her surroundings. (She can gag at the smell of toothpaste! Ultra sensitive! A “Sensory Kid” is what they call ‘em.) SO the surroundings make her anxious and the behavior presents itself. 006

(She has other anxious behaviors like asking the same questions over and over again when she’s uncertain about a situation, she’s showing some frustration over not keeping up in math, she talks and talks and talks when we are in new places and she will talk to ANYONE or she is extremely quiet and internalizes the situation until it’s over… like going to the doctor.)

Today the doctor wanted to discuss putting her on medication that would potentially help her deal with the extra serotonin that her brain produces that causes her to be anxious. He said that sometimes when the MRI shows nothing you begin to treat symptoms and in this case it seems that anxiety is a symptom that she deals with.  (WELL, YEA!)

Thing is.. the medication is an anti-depressant! Dag gum it!

Ya know, if she were a diabetic we would put her on the meds for that. It’s just that no one wants to put their SEVEN YEAR OLD on ANTI-DEPRESSANTS! THINK ABOUT IT PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!

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Her OT (who I LOVE and who I think knows her very well) says that being in school with the kids is really really good for her. She sees kids with normal levels of anxiety and they can model appropriate behavior for her since she is an only child. It’s also good for her to be socialized with these kids since she is in a conservative Christian school and most of the kids also come from great families who love Jesus.  I really don’t think that her school is causing any of the anxiety and to be honest… she has done this since she was 4! We have tried redirecting her, therapy and all sorts of things to help her deal with all that she seems to struggle with and so far she is taking little steps, but not overcoming!

I feel confident that the Lord is directing our every step with her. She seems happy and she’s growing. This is just another decision that I pray He will just be in total control of as we press on! It would just be great if He would set the tree in my front yard on fire if it is a total yes! You know.. the whole burning bush thing would be great!!

Does anyone know why raising kids has to be SOOOOO hard? Anyone? I was really hoping a manual was going to pop out along side her the day she was born. No such luck I’m afraid!

8 comments:

Rebecca Jo said...

You are such a good mom to keep working at finding answers...

I think people hear the word "antidepressants" & think of such bad things, when it is just a balance of seritone (however you spell it) & its a medical issue - Its so hard for us to not sterotype things...

Rebecca Jo said...

oops - hit the send button too early...

anyways - keep searching for answers... I'll pray along with you for God's guidance for your little angel!

Leigh Ann said...

A lot of your post reminded me of Evan. With autism though, he doesn't really have the anxiety, but he can definitely go into la la land. We call it "checking out" or he's in "Evanland." Sometimes I wish I could go to Evanland. Seems like such a happy place. LOL! We, too, have lots of sensory stuff going on and battle it daily. I know what you mean about medication. It's scary to know the right thing to do. I also would appreciate a burning bush on occasion. I always say parenting is not for wimps! :) You are such a great mom and I love how you explained this for everyone else out there that doesn't know what a delay or disability is. Thanks for that!

Jensmere said...

Thanks for helping us to understand all the things that you and your sweet baby girl are going through.

Will be praying for you that you will have God-given wisdom to 'glean' the best advice of the doctors!

Remember, she is God's child and He has THE plan well under control...when it is His time, the perfect time, He will reveal to you the steps to take.

Bless you!
Susan

Heather said...

Reading this gives us a glimpse into your heart and your family and I am thankful you shared! I will be praying for your decisions....you are SO right...parenting is TOUGH and there are so many unknowns and challenges.
Love ya!

Jacquie said...

Parenting is the hardest thing I've ever done - and the most rewarding.

I totally sympathize with you. I'll be praying for your answer... and for peace about it.

Thank you for sharing from your heart.

Faith said...

Honey, you know we are praying and support you in every way. I'm so thankful that you have a great team of experts who are there to answer your questions and to give their advice as well. I know that you are praying about it all and will do whatever the Lord directs you to do for your sweet girl.

We love her and you and it was so great to see you last night!

MiMi said...

I always wished that my babies had come with a Users Manual, too, but the only thing about that is, that they would ALL have to come with a different one!

I am so thankful that you are surrounded by such a great team of people that are giving you expert advice. I am praying that God will give you clear direction in the path that you should take and that He will give you complete peace about it.

"Trust in the Lord with ALL your heart and lean not unto your own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge HIM and HE will direct your paths." Prov. 3:5 & 6

Melissa, you are such an amazing Mom and Caroline is so blessed to have you as her Mommy!