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Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Twenty Things I Will Never Do

I thought Boomama had a pretty fun challenge... to list the 20 things you would never do ...so here goes:

1. I will never be a school mascot. You know with the big sweaty body and bigger than life head? NO, not me.

2. I will never wear a size two ... not because I don't want to.

3. I will never fly an airplane.

4. You will never see me at a strip club. Either as an attendee or a participant. Just making it clear.

5. I will never say, " Hey! Wanna go get a tatoo?" and mean it.

6. I will never be a Dallas Cowboy cheerleader. I know... it's shocking.

7. You will not see me on TV in the chicken bone section of LMS in the swealtering sun with 5000 other tatooed swealtering fans.

8. I will not eat a tomato sandwich. Not even with salt and pepper. So stop.

9. I will not drive a school bus.

10. You will not hear me say, "You know, I really want to drive a John Deere tractor today."

11. I will not own a lizard. Or any other reptile for that matter.

12. You will not see me wear a rainbow dress. Or a teacher denim jumper.

13. I will not wear a side pony tail.

14. I will not wear crocks. Apparently I am missing something, but I am good with it.

15. I will not go to a David Lee Roth concert. I know... he's touring, but seriously!

16. You will not see me with a mohawk.

17. I will not choose cleaning over lunch with friends.

18. I will never paint my bedroom mauve.

19. I will never have green shag carpet.

20. I will not join acrobat school.

What about you!?

5 comments:

Valarie said...

GIRL you are brave! First let me say that about 15 yrs ago I would've also said your #7 about LMS - HOWEVER - the reason I say you're brave is that God had plans to hook me up with a big ole' redneck and where did I find myself? Right down chicken-bone alley! Oh yeah, on a scaffold in the infield not watching the race though - LAYIN' OUT IN THE SUN!! The cars made an awesome breeze so I just laid myself out and put on some headphones and closed my eyes and pretended I was at the beach!!! HAHAHAHAHA

So, I'm trying to avoid saying NEVER because that might be just where God sends me. You better watch out too - He might call you to witness at a strip club or tatoo parlor! hahahahahaha

Thanks for the laugh!
V

Melissa said...

Well, don't think that as SOON as I hit "publish" that I didn't think about that because I certainly did! Oh my word!! I DID! It's VERY scary when the Lord decides to say, "oh REALLY now!? Let's just SEE about that girlfriend!" ( Not sure if God says "girlfriend" but in this case He just might!)

Yea, I can see me at LMS with a big mascot head on over my side pony tail getting a tatoo and listening to David Lee Roth in concert in the infield as I try to tell someone about Jesus.

Do not laugh.

Valarie said...

LOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Girl, don't you know He just might be pavin' the way right now! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Belle-ah said...

LOL I completely and totally agree with 19 of your 20...I love Tomato Sammies! You rock (David Lee Roth and spandex not with standing!).

Heather said...

I put my "never" list on my blog today! I love yours! You crack me up! :)